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Paul J. Doyle

"A Humpty Dumpty Christmas!" by Paul J. Doyle

SF&F Picture 5 out of 13 by Paul J. Doyle
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Ever wonder what would have happened if Humpty Dumpty hadn't gone sitting on that fateful wall? Being an anthropomorphic egg, his demise was inevitable, one way or another (It has a little twist at the end)
Somebody pass me the toast and the bacon . . .
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“A Humpty Dumpty Christmas”


by Paul J. Doyle


Humpty Dumpty zoomed downhill on the sled.

Humpty Dumpty smashed headfirst into a shed!

All of Elfwood’s Drow and Ents and wizards,

And all of Elfwood’s orcs and gnomes and dragons,

Laughed so hard they strained their gizzards,

Then made Humpty omelets for all—yummy braggin’?


-------------------------------------------


Meanwhile, in a dark tower, a necromancer animated fruit cake that had been sitting there on a high shelf since the dawn of time—and commanded it to go forth and multiply . . .


Merry Christmas?


:P :P :P

←- futuristic dragon's lament | Jak'edrac's Homesick -→

DateNameComment 
19 Jan 2004:-) Natalie Kent
Very imaginative, Innocent idea turned..umm... savage. But that's basically the origin of nursery rhymes anyway. I like it a lot

1 Paul J. Doyle replies: "Thanks! It took 31 days to go through the queue, but at long last it finally went through . . . but I can't complain as it's been sitting there on the "Newest additions" link for days, along with pictures of "furry" ferret anthropomorphs and AK-47 wielding transvestites. So I'm not complaining about the attention my warped little poem has received. Thanks again, and may you have a fine breakfast!"
20 Jan 2004:-) Isabelle Apel
... nice. 's finally up there, man. Teehee XD poor Humpty Dumpty XD I'd love some omelette, now, though... < XD

2 Paul J. Doyle replies: "Yes, I'll make sure the eggs are fully cooked and not runny and cooked to your liking.

Coming soon: Humpty Dumpty versus the Easter Bunny? O.o"
23 Jan 200445 Inflatable Llama
May I say that this is pure awesomeness?

16 Paul J. Doyle replies: "Thanks! Short and simple but sweet, in direct contrast to some those long, complicated "serious" poems I've got up*can't get the image of an "Inflatable Llama" out of his head**Is traumatized for life, like a little kitten caught in a monsoon and locked out*"
24 Jan 200445 Ponellope Jane
Awesome i applaud your creativity. 2

1 Paul J. Doyle replies: "Thanks! I really, really try not to "sell out" and do whatever I can to not follow trends. That's why on my art gallery you'll never see bug-eyed "bad anime" (yes, there is "good anime") elf faces with absurdly long ears, and why you won't find stories and poems about how much I want to kill myself . . . blecch.

But if I somehow, mystifyingly START a trend? No qualms here, unless it goes too far . . . "
25 Jan 200445 Anonymous Girl
Hahaha! that was funny! I liked it a lot. Now I have something to smile about! 1

2 Paul J. Doyle replies: "Thanks! I personally believe that there isn't anywhere near enough humor on Elfwood, and on Wyvern's Library in particular."
26 Jul 2005:-) Tanafey
Ohmigawd! That was horribly twisted! I can't belileve you did that to a cute little children's poem! I love it.
22 Sep 200745 HeeHee
It's not even christmas yet!
25 Sep 200745 Pee ee coo ha
LOL!!!!Very funny!I'venever heard anything like this before!
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About 'A Humpty Dumpty Christmas!':
 • Status: OK
 • Created by: :-) Paul J. Doyle
 • Copyright: ©Paul J. Doyle. All rights reserved!

 • Keywords: Humpty, Dumpty, Sled, Ride, Crash, Shed, Boom, Laughing, Orcs, Dragons, Wizards, Gnomes, Drow, Enchanted, Evil, Fruitcake, Necromancer, Merry, Christmas
 • Categories: Elf / Elves, Humourous or Cute Things, Magic and Sorcery, Spells, etc., Mythical Creatures & Assorted Monsters, Orc, Goblins, Trolls, Trollocs..., Spaceships, Ships, Bessels, Transportation..., Parody
 • Views: 1131


More by 'Paul J. Doyle':
 The Stables part one
Pair Bonded Dragons' Lament (and Delight!)
Chinese Dragon's Dilemma
futuristic dragon's lament
Santa Claus: Medieval Secret Undercover Agent----Episode 1: Good-bye, North Pole!
Santa Claus, Medieval Secret Undercover Agent---Episode Three: Evangelize This!
Santa Claus, Medieval Secret Undercover Agent: Episode Two--- Electric Boogaloo!
“NO REST FOR THE DEAD, WICKED PHARAOH”
'Classical Dragon's Lament'

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